Surviving Every Test
by Pietruszkowa
Summary: Inspired by Ryan Murphy's other series, Popular. Kurt and Sam decide to spontaneously get married after same-sex marriage gets legalized in Ohio, and they have to deal with consequences of that decision.
1. Prologue

They actually had rings.

They were just some silly, flimsy bands Sam had gotten at the fair during the summer before their senior year. Maybe he won them, maybe he found them in some kind of packed food, Kurt wasn't sure. By the time he got them, Sam was already pretty drunk: he was incredibly proud of himself for getting them, and tried to serenade Kurt with some Enrique Iglesias while putting the ring on Kurt's finger (also suggesting that Kurt show him the Single Lady's dance sans clothes) and his kisses tasted a little like beer and a little like orange juice.

Sam believed that the evening was totally worth it, even if he gotten thrown in a dumpster the next day on his way home from work; the whole thing had happened soon after he came out, and the atmosphere in football team was still pretty tense. Kurt, incredibly moved and worried by how much Sam would go through for their love, suggested that maybe they get something engraved on them to give them even more meaning – he had _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ on his mind. After watching the movie (Or rewatching it, in Kurt's case) they both agreed that this idea was pretty romantic, though cheesy (and plagiarized), and after putting each other's initials on these bands, they never actually took the rings off.

It wasn't like they flaunted their relationship or anything, because getting extra attention was the last thing they wanted in a place like Lima, which was still getting used to out and proud gay couples. No one seemed to pay much attention to the rings anyway; there were some rumors at school, but they didn't care. Only Rachel and Quinn had talked about them openly, Quinn by embarrassing Sam and reminding him of how he proposed to her before, and Rachel by talking about them way too loud and freaking out Finn. ("Dude, what the hell? You can have at least let me know you were getting married, or, you know, made me your best man or something!")

So when they exchanged these rings for real, gold ones, it felt a little strange. They didn't feel like throwing away the old rings, though. So they kept them.


	2. Chapter 1

"Dad, Carole, Finn, I…" Kurt made eye contact with Sam, reminding himself he's not the only one in this. "…we have something to tell you."

The boys had somehow managed to get all of the Hudson-Hummel family into one room, much to Finn's dismay: he had some plans for the evening, and judging from his attitude, those plans probably involved Rachel. Burt and Carole looked at each other nervously, wondering what bombshell was about to be dropped on them. The boy's relationship usually didn't cause any problems: Sam was a perfect gentlemen, respectful of Kurt, his family and their rules at all times, and a good friend to Finn.

"This sounds serious." Carole said, concerned.

"Is one of you like, pregnant?" The woman looked at Finn flabbergasted; it was only a few years ago that they had dealt with pregnancy crisis themselves after she found him singing and crying to a sonogram.

"Well, that's definitely not the case, if it makes you feel any better." Sam smiled nervously, hoping to relieve some tension.

They had already waited a week to announce their news, but they knew they couldn't keep it forever (even for their own sanity) and it would be best to just get it over with. It's not like they were ashamed.

Sam thought of something he had heard in one of the musicals Kurt insisted he watched, "I trust God will understand, I'm not so sure about the neighbors." It fit their situation perfectly. Expect the studying, God and neighbors part.

"That's one of the benefits of having a gay son, after all." Burt joked.

"Dad…" As much as Sam tried to break the ice with his joke before, Kurt was incredibly serious and pretty tense during the whole situation.

"You said it yourself once… Okay, boys, what is going on?"

Sam bit his lip and clapped his thighs nervously, suddenly having no idea what he should do with his hands. Burt's shotgun in the hall closet was on his mind… Maybe death wouldn't be so bad, since they still had to tell Mr. and Mrs. Evans.

"We got married." Kurt and Sam said together.

The silence was terrifying. Finn, who almost always had something to say, was silent, his mouth hanging open. Suddenly Kurt felt incredible longing for his brother's stupid comments or/and Braveheart references.

"It was a really spur of the moment decision," Kurt started to talk very quickly, trying to let it all out and hopefully not give his father another heart attack in the process. "and we are sorry that we never let you know what we were planning when we tried to get the license, but we're ready for it, and we love each other, and same-sex marriage just got legalized in Ohio, and it just seemed like perfect timing…" Kurt put his left hand up so the whole family could see the incredibly simple, gold band on his ring finger, exactly where he used to have his old ring with Sam's initials carved into it.

"You guys didn't tell me again?" Finn cried out in disbelief.

"We're gonna do this the right way, too." Sam added, like this statement could help anything. "Like in a few years, maybe fifth anniversary, we could do it in a church and invite people and everything." Kurt gave him a quick look. Getting married in a church would have to be discussed.

"Oh my god." Carole buried her face in her hands.

"Are you two out of your minds?" Burt raised his voice. "What the hell! You're barely out of high school, barely eighteen. Marriage might seem fun and easy, but it's not. This decision may ruin your whole lives, and probably will."

"Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence in Sam and I, dad."

"Kurt, what are you going to do about college if you're married?"

"Mr. Hummel, if I may…" Sam swallowed hard. "We might not have everything figured out, but we definitely want to figure it out together. Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about, being together?"

"Sam," Burt didn't sound angry, but he certainly wasn't calm, "kids your age are too young to realize how serious and life changing something like marriage is. You gotta be sure you want to spend your life with that one person. It's more than a piece of paper. This is serious. You don't get married just because it's legal, you do it because you want to make a commitment."

"The point is, that is exactly what we wanted" Sam assured him quietly. "The commitment to each other."

"Dad, it may seem crazy, but we're not changing our minds – it's what we decided that we want, we want to spend our lives together, and we ask you – all of you – to respect and accept that decision." Kurt took Sam's –_his husband's_- hand, looking at his family.

"Blessing" Sam added, nodding. "No, wait, you should get blessing _before _anything happens, right?" He looked at Kurt.

"I'm sorry, Kurt. I can't be okay with this. I can't support you two throwing away your futures just because you like each other-"

"Love. We love each other" Kurt interrupted.

"…Like each other." Burt repeated. "This is something too serious for both of you and you should call the whole thing off. I can't force you to do anything, but I'm not going to accept this ridiculous decision. I care about both of you" he looked at Sam "too much for that."

"Even if it was a spontaneous decision, we were both sure whenever we made it together and stuck to it." Kurt said softly. "It took us a while to get through the paperwork, and we let some time pass before we told you. It felt right, and it still feels like it was the right thing to do. Especially with the perspective of changes on our way. We don't regret it and we never will. We're not ashamed, and we just proved that by telling you all." Kurt took a deep breath and squeezed Sam's hand a little tighter. "I didn't mean to upset any of you, but this is about Sam and me, and what we have." Kurt looked directly into his father's eyes. "I'm sorry dad. I love you, but I know what I want in my life. You kicking me out won't change any of that."

"You know, before I actually hoped _my_ parents would throw _me_ out so we could stay in _your_ basement or something." Sam said as they sat down as his bed and tried to figure out what came next. Sam's parents had taken the news well, though they too disagreed with their decision. He told them that he would definitely be moving out, especially since Kurt had to leave his home. Sam was married now, and living with them and bringing in another person under their roof while they were still struggling financially would be wrong. He didn't expect them to let them stay, but they said they could stay there for a couple of days until they work out what they need to do next. Sam was grateful that they were being so nice – they were very strong Christians, and Sam had been practically waiting to be doused with holy water, but his parents weren't stereotypical homophobic monsters.

Sam's parents really liked Kurt, which was part of the reason why they weren't too upset upon hearing the news tonight, as well as finding out few years ago that Sam was gay. They first met Kurt when he was just a boy who used to be in Sam's glee club and was giving Sam some clothes. Getting to know Kurt – and later leaning that this sweet, thoughtful boy was gay _and_ an atheist - had completely made them change their way of thinking about this kind of people. Their horizons were for sure expanded.

Which didn't mean that they didn't suggest that the boys should try to get at least some kind of blessing of the relationship from the priest.

"Forgive me for standing up for _our_ marriage." Kurt snapped, a little irritated.

"Sorry." Sam apologized, taking his hand and playing with the band that encircled his finger. Brand new ring on familiar skin. "I'm just a little overwhelmed. I know you are too." He kissed Kurt softly. "So. We can't stay with our parents. We could either get a small place in Lima and save up for New York, or we could head out there and wing it."

"Staying here and renting a room just seems like a waste." Kurt said. He didn't know where they would go, either.

"Yeah, but it would be cheaper than living in New York for the summer. We could save up some money, maybe." Sam leaned on the pillows. He realized how young and inexperienced they really were when he looked around the room– it was much more modest than his previous bedroom, but he still had some comics and action figures and a couple of Avatar posters on the wall. He knew Kurt didn't mind, but he also knew that it was time for him to grow up now, and he probably wouldn't be seeing his stuff in their new place.

He would find another way to make their place feel more comfortable; he already had plan of painting stars on their future bedroom ceiling.

"If we stayed here, maybe we could get some free food out of it. You know, take home left overs and stuff if your parents invite us for dinner, after they get used to idea of marriage." He joked.

Kurt ignored Sam's joke. "I can sell some of my clothes and maybe other stuff. I've got some money saved up, so we won't be completely broke."

Sam seemed a little surprised. "But you love your clothes."

He would suggest selling some of his own belongings, but he already sold everything of value when his family lost their house to help pay for the motel room. The rest of his savings from last year had been spent on the wedding rings. Kurt didn't like that Sam had spent all of his money, but Sam reminded him that from the moment they left the registrar's office, everything that they owned would be shared between them.

"Dear, I might be a little spoiled, but it doesn't mean I don't realize that there are more important things than Alexander McQueen." Kurt took a little sheet of paper and started to write down ideas to get income. "But if you stop loving me after I give up on my moisturizing routine and become ugly…" he trailed off, poking Sam's chest warningly.

"It's impossible. You'll always be beautiful to me." Sam told him truthfully. Kurt gave him a small smile.

"I guess we can rent some really cheap, terrible place for summer" he suggested, coming back to writing the thoughts down. "Not in the motel, I think you have enough motels for the rest of your life. We could probably find somebody who was just renting out a room. We wouldn't need an apartment to ourselves, not yet, anyway. Maybe our friends know someone who rents... We could pretend to be cousins if we had to."

Sam shook his head. "Everybody knows us. We're local gay celebrities."

"Right." Kurt looked up at him and sighed. "You know what I think sucks the most right now? The lack of wedding presents. They would solve a lot."

"One of the drawbacks of getting eloped, I guess." Sam smiled and pulled him close. "We'll get them one day. In a few years, we'll have a real wedding, with guests and music and presents and an open bar for Puck.

"A few years is hardly enough time for me to plan something as grand as I want. I'll have to start planning the whole ceremony right now." He answered, kissing his husband's cheek.

"You mean you haven't had the perfect wedding planned since you were four?" Sam teased.

"Of course I have, but I'll be planning my dream wedding on a budget. Instead of a swan sculpture, maybe we can just have Finn spit ice at everybody." Kurt laughed, snuggling into Sam's chest "Planning this will be a challenge, and I like challenges." He sighed, closing his eyes. "A dream wedding would be nice, but I'm glad we didn't wait for that. Secretly getting married is pretty romantic."

"Totally." Sam kissed Kurt's forehead. He remembered that from now on, they would be spending every night like this; no personal space, always together. "Do you think we'll have any problems living together?"

"Honestly, I don't think so. We both took care of people, me of my dad, you of your siblings, and we spend all of our time together now anyways. I think I can handle you." Kurt smiled. They might get annoyed at each other sometimes, but Kurt knew that they loved each other enough that it didn't matter. "I don't think there are any surprises on our way." Kurt looked up at him. "So far I really enjoy being your husband, even if it just pretty much got me kicked out." He kissed Sam softly. "I believe we are going to be fine."


	3. Chapter 2

Their landlady seemed like a bitch and they both hoped not to get into any trouble with her. Kurt thought that he probably would be bitching too, if he was middle-aged single woman with a wardrobe that made her look about seven years older and a fat cat that just seemed to walk around the whole house without any purpose all day, getting hair on everything.

The rent for their place was really low, but the owner had a lot of rules: they were only allowed to use the bathroom and hot water at certain hours, and they didn't have access to most of the house, including the kitchen.

There was a little fridge and they were able to cook in their room, though, so they hoped to not have any problems with that. They also hoped that they wouldn't die because of a gas leak.

Their room wasn't really a room. It was actually decorated basement, with a separate entrance (thank God), just a mattress instead of a bed and very little space. There wasn't much furniture, which was probably a good thing, since the place was very small anyway – just a little table with seats, where they could work and eat, a wardrobe, ridiculously small for all of Kurt's stuff, and one shelf where they somehow were supposed to put all their other belongings. In fact, they didn't even try; they just left a big part of their stuff unpacked, keeping in mind that they would be out of Lima in few months anyway.

They weren't really sure what kind of people, not including completely desperate ones, like them, would like to live under conditions like these.

Mrs. Beckett made it very clear that she wouldn't tolerate any kind of noises, suspicious guests or acts of drunkenness. She simply wanted to get some income without any stronger sense of her tenant's presence. She also let them know that she would check in every once in a while to make sure that they didn't turn the whole place into one big mess, which caused a quick exchange of looks as they wondered what her reaction would be towards the various kinds of affection that would be perfectly normal for a newly married young couple to share.

At least it wasn't hot in there, as Sam noticed after Kurt let him know that they would have to use free internet in public places.

Their biggest confrontation with reality was probably their first morning there. During the previous night, they were still excited about how they managed to find a place for rent so quickly, they started unpacking and everything still seemed like an adventure. In the morning, this feeling was replaced by the aching of their backs.

Sam expected to wake up to rays of sunshine, with his husband in his arms and with the possibility of a blowjob. Instead, it was raining, the air around seemed unpleasantly damp and Kurt was already up and fully dressed. In fact, he had been the one to wake Sam up, gently, but firmly, reminding him that rent won't pay itself.

"Also, there's only 30 minutes of bathroom time left" he said softly. "I'm not sure how much time you need, but I hope that's enough. I didn't want to wake you up too early." Kurt kissed Sam's forehead.

Sam nodded and got up, still sleepy. He didn't waste any time to even talk to his spouse. While he was taking a shower, Kurt made them something to eat. During breakfast they talked about what they had learned this morning: that 30 minutes turned out to definitely not be enough for Sam, and the light stubble on his face was the best proof of it; that Kurt is probably going to get up earlier every day, since he's already used to it (skincare habits don't die so quickly), and he's going to wake up Sam, just like today.

What got them down the most, though, was the realization that they already needed to go shopping.

"Listen, I understand that you're currently not hiring, but I actually may be the best thing that ever happened and probably will happen to this store." Kurt tried to assure the manager of what was probably the only clothing shop in Lima he ever noticed and cared about enough to visit. Usually he just made his clothes by himself or purchased things online, exactly the way he was about to get rid of them now."I've got taste, I know fashion and I promise you that every girl who shows up here will walk out with plenty new clothes and a better frame of mind." He smiled, proud, reminding himself of all the times he helped girls from glee club fill their wardrobes. It didn't matter if it was the beginning of the year or prom night, they were always thankful to have Kurt around. "And good mood is the key factor that brings them back. _With friends_."

"Kurt, it's not some high fashion boutique in a big city, it's a clothing shop in a small town. People don't expect much." The man sighed, slightly irritated. "Your attitude doesn't quite belong here."

"Things can only get better… No offense. I mean it only in the best possible way."

"I'm sure," he came back to the papers he was going through before Kurt interrupted. "You shouldn't promise miracles, especially when you're just going to work during the summer. People leave for vacation or look for other kinds of entertainment. Besides, there are no new collections and stores are usually empty."

"All I want is to be given a chance," Kurt said. "If it doesn't work, you'll just fire me and I'll go my own way and start frying some chicken or whatever." He shrugged casually, even if the idea of working in fast food place made him mentally shiver. "I can take great care of not just sales, but also your whole merchandise. These clothes will be treated with as much respect as if they were part of designer collections. Who else would you be able to trust more than Kurt Hummel on this one?"

"Why are you even looking for a job here anyway? I thought you were helping at your father's garage during the summer."

Kurt bit his bottom lip. The thoughts he kept pushing away for last few days came back in full bloom and started to hurt. "That was in the past."

"I met with Finn today." Sam said when they were walking home. They just did their first shopping as a couple living together and for some unknown reason it made them feel somehow joyful. Sam was carrying all their bags, because, as he said, it was currently his only way to exercise a little; Kurt was using his free hands to attempt to feed Sam with his sandwich. As his husband let him know earlier, it had been a very busy day at work and he had to skip lunch – which made breakfast Sam's only meal of the day until now. Kurt decided that Sam couldn't wait until they got back home; besides that, secretly, he actually enjoyed feeding Sam.

The whole situation, coming back home together like this and sharing food, made them feel nicely _married_.

"Well, he just visited my workplace, so I don't know if you can actually call it _meeting_." Sam added after he swallowed.

"And..?" Kurt asked as he stopped to wipe the corner of Sam's mouth. He kissed him softly, suddenly too impatient to wait until they got home.

The thought about testing the mattress crossed his mind.

"We talked for a while. I gave him our current address, I thought your brother should know where you live. I told him how we are doing, basically. He's glad we are fine."

Kurt let Sam have another bite and they started to walk again. "Did he say anything about situation in home?"

"Yes," Sam licked his lips before he continued, aware that Kurt was observing his tongue. "He said it's very quiet and tense. And that Burt and Carole have been having a lot of discussions lately… That's what he called it: discussing. Not arguing. He kind of stressed that. Also he mentioned that it feels weird without you, especially during dinners."

Kurt's enthusiasm went down a little… Or maybe more than a little. Sam wasn't sure if getting into this topic was appropriate; he had the urge to drop everything and hug his husband. It didn't seem like the best idea though, especially since he didn't want to damage their newly bought goods, so he just kissed Kurt's cheek comfortingly instead.

"I think you should talk to your dad."He suggested carefully, not sure how Kurt felt about the whole situation. Usually Sam didn't have any problems understanding people, especially the ones he was close to. But this time it seemed like Kurt put some walls up – walls Sam wasn't able to get through. He couldn't really relate: he wasn't kicked out, and even though his parents didn't support their decision, they still let them stay at their place for some time. Talking about it felt like he was entering a mine field. "I'm sure that if you talked about it a little more, alone, face to face, situation would get better. And you both would _feel _better. You two were always really close."

Sam still remembered how Kurt told him about his coming out and his father's support – that story was one of the things that helped him to get through process of coming out to his own parents.

"Well, now I'm really close to _you_." Kurt took one of the bags Sam was holding, like he wanted to do something with his empty hands. "By getting married, we started a family, Sam."

"Of course, but it doesn't mean your dad and step-mother and Finn aren't part of your family, too…"Sam started, but Kurt interrupted him with a kiss. Even if the touch of Kurt's lips was always pleasurable, Sam didn't like this gesture at all. The moments when Kurt didn't let him speak or ignored him were rare, but incredibly irritating. They also reminded him what he hated the most in all his relationships with the girls.

Aside from the fact that they were, you know, girls.

"You know, I don't think this way of avoiding…" he started again and got shut down exactly the same way, only this time it involved more tongue. Sam eventually let go and loosened up a little, realizing Kurt simply _won't _talk about it right now, no matter how delicate, thoughtful or reasonable Sam tried to be.

"But it's nice, isn't it?" Kurt asked after their lips separated. "I like kissing you more than finding other ways to avoid this topic." He pressed his forehead against Sam's, knowing how much his husband liked that gesture.

"But we'll get back to that later. I promise." he whispered. The corners of Sam's mouth unconsciously went up in a little smile and Kurt couldn't do anything but smile back. "We'll be fine."


	4. Chapter 3

I'm sorry it took so long; I had this one finished after 2-3 days but my beta wasn't available all week. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>It wasn't long until all of their days started to seem similar, with their sleepy mornings and even sleepier evenings. Sam worked hard six days a week, taking all possible extra hours and duties and Kurt started to seriously worry if he would overwork himself. He tried to talk to him about it, but Sam told him to save his preaching for when they're in their forties. Kurt barely managed to persuade him to have that one day a week completely off, without second job or anything like this.<p>

Sam never had any problems with hard work – In fact, all his life when his family used to be homeless was full of hard work: at school, during babysitting, while delivering pizzas or taking a summer job. Kurt felt like now that they were living together, Sam couldn't help trying to improve their situation as soon as it was possible, couldn't help trying to prove himself or maybe even to prove that their marriage wasn't a bad decision at all and they were able to take care of themselves. Every moment of idleness seemed to tire him more than physical work. On one hand, Kurt wanted to talk about it and try to calm him down; on the other, if Sam _needed it _in some way, Kurt felt like he should understand and not stop him. He decided that he would temporarily go with the second option.

While Sam was getting into the blue collar lifestyle, Kurt worked in a clothing store for the first half of the day, and for the second he tried to take care of their small household, starting with groceries, ending with conversations with their landlady. He even managed to get them some extra bathroom time, after she discovered that her tenants wouldn't bring any trouble and/or mess. The boys didn't drink, weren't ever loud and, so far, no one had even visited them.

Actually, the last time they connected with anyone from their families and friends was the day they were invited to have dinner with Sam's parents and siblings. Stacey and Stevie were excited to hear that they currently lived in the basement – Sam's brother found it 'cool' – and Mr. and Mrs. Evans seemed relieved that they managed to find jobs so quickly. Sam's mom suggested that it may mean that they wouldn't have problems living in New York either, since they were doing so well in Lima.

The day of this dinner was Sam's first free day since they started to live together, and was also their first Sunday spent together as a married couple. All that day was weird, starting with the fact Sam was the one who woke up first, ending with discovery that they had some time to have sex but they didn't feel like using that opportunity.

Maybe it was because Sam asked Kurt earlier that day if he wanted to go to church with him. Or maybe it was because of that family dinner. Or maybe it was because another terrible week would be starting in few hours. Or maybe it was because of the full moon that night – you never know.

At the end of the casual day Kurt and Sam were usually terribly tired and they spent their time laying down together on their uncomfortable mattress, sometimes cuddling, sometimes not, and just talking about things. They told each other how their jobs were going (funnily, Sam had more work, but Kurt had more stories) and planned their future in NYC. These never were serious conversations, they treated them more like fantasies, not so different from the dreams they shared when they were still in high school and the future seemed remote. Sam was usually too tired to bring up problematic topics and Kurt kept a lot of his thoughts to himself. He also didn't feel like sharing his doubts with Sam, when his husband couldn't even keep his eyes open during conversations.

Once every few days, they were supposed to sit down to work out their financial situation. In reality, it seemed more like a session of Kurt counting their incomes and expenses while Sam was counting Kurt's freckles. They were doing good – better than they expected to do, even if they were surprised by the expense of the necessities. Kurt's clothes turned out to be a hot deal on online auctions. They actually started to consider making a business out of it, since Kurt usually was able to make an incredible creations for few dollars. They eventually decided to come back to this idea in New York, when their life would be a little calmer.

Achievements like this made them both feel better: Kurt started to smile a little more often and sing casually while cooking; Sam was filled with pride.

Mrs. Beckett entered the room. "You have guests" she said. Her lips were tightened into a thin line. "I would appreciate if in the future you let your friends know that they can reach you out directly, without disturbing my peace. That's what the separate basement entrance is for."

Sam came back from work just a few minutes ago and when she entered the room, he was about to change. Meanwhile, his husband was collecting ingredients for their dinner before cooking.

"We are very sorry." Kurt assured her and Sam smiled softly to himself, noticing the woman's expression soften. Even if the three of them had a rough start, she eventually had come to like Kurt, the way he talked and always seemed incredibly polite and tactful. "We can assure you it won't happen again."

Landlady nodded and let the guests enter the 's brother came in – because of his height, not too gracefully – followed by Rachel.

"Oh God, our first guests!" Kurt laughed when they shared a hug. "You can start praising the place, just try to sound honest."

"Hey, it's nice," Finn answered, "even if it's kinda small."

"You should get used to small, if you plan joining me in New York." Rachel noticed. Rachel left Ohio last year to go to college; she and Finn broke up, but somewhere around winter they both realized they still loved each other. Finn decided to take a chance and visited New York during Christmas break, only to later discover that Rachel did the same thing and went to Lima to talk to him. Eventually, after few bumps on the way (as always – for this couple, no matter how in love they were, getting together never came easily), they deiced to try a long-distance relationship. This year Finn planned moving to NYC to live with Rachel.

"It's hard to forget about New York these days." he answered with a smile. "Hey, since you two are going to live there too, maybe we could all move in together? I guess it would be cheaper or something."

"Sounds fun" Sam said. His words were slightly muffled by the material of t-shirt he was finally changing into.

"As fun as possibly killing each other in never-ending fights could be," Kurt smiled. "What brings you guys here?" he asked. "Because I don't believe it's only about how much you miss us."

"It could be!" Finn assured him. "We totally wanted to pass by earlier, but, uh, Sam made everything sound like you two were incredibly busy these days."

"We didn't want to take much of your time." Rachel added. "Or, you know, make you feel uncomfortable because you had to go back to work or something."

Kurt and Rachel shared a small smile – they somehow managed to stay friends during previous year, mostly thanks to the internet. No matter how much they annoyed each other sometimes, they were each other's biggest fans. Not counting Sam and Finn, of course. None of them had any doubts that this relationship would continue in the fall and hopefully later, as long as Rachel doesn't try to break Kurt's leg during theirrivalry.

"So, what happened?" Kurt asked.

Finn smiled softly. "This," he said and took a letter with Kurt's name and previous address on it out of his pocket. He handed it to Kurt and Kurt already knew what was it about – it was from college. The future suddenly seemed incredibly close.

"You didn't open it?" He asked, surprised, because the envelope wasn't unsealed.

"It's _yours_. Also, we all just _know_ that you got in there, because you're super smart, so." He shrugged. "Burt and mom want to invite you two over for a little celebration this Friday and I think you should come… Maybe it could also be the end of this whole marriage fight." Finn suggested. "I think both you and Burt took your time and it could be discussed again, with a little more perspective…"

"Since we're on the subject of your marriage, I already have a few ideas for songs I could sing for you at your real wedding…" Rachel started, but Finn gave her look suggesting that it wasn't the right moment, so she just whispered 'sorry' and went quiet.

Kurt just stood here, looking at the letter, which felt weirdly heavy, just like Sam's eyes he could feel on his back. Kurt took a deep breath and opened the envelope.

"I'm in." he announced after a while of reading. Rachel jumped and clapped enthusiastically. "Oh God, I'm in" Kurt repeated, when it finally hit him. He laughed and hid face in his hands. He could feel Sam's hands wrapping him around his waist, nuzzling his face before he left a small kiss on Kurt's cheek.

"Congratulations, baby" he said. Kurt felt something odd – a reaction like Sam's would be perfectly fine when it came to anybody else, but in Sam's case it seemed distant. He would expect to be crushed in a spontaneous, more excited hug, which would lead to a group hug and crushing Kurt even more. Sam was a sucker for things like that.

"Yeah, congratulations." Finn added with a huge smile. "Um, hey, maybe we could go out?" he suggested. "Grab a beer or something?"

"I think a little celebration right now isn't a bad idea." Rachel nodded, still smiling. "Also, I'm pretty sure going out will be good for you two," she added, looking at Kurt and Sam.

"I agree, it's time to talk to someone else than each other and my family." Sam agreed. "Also finally eat and drink something _unhealthy_. Kurt?"

He nodded as Sam let him go.

"I just don't understand why you're trying to make a big deal out of it." Sam admitted, leaning on the wall, his arms crossed, defensively. They just came back from meeting with Finn and Rachel and Kurt decided to talk to Sam about their college plans, suddenly not sure if he knew what he wanted. The letter which brought so much joy a few hours ago now felt like a curse. "Our plans were always clear, we knew what we wanted – what was supposed to happen – all along, even before we really started dating, and marriage didn't change anything, neither did the fact that you got kick-uh, that we had to move in together."

"No, my decision is not followed by the fact that my father wasn't as supportive as I expected him to be." Kurt answered, gritting his teeth. "It doesn't have to do with anything so I would be grateful if you stopped using it as your interpretation of the beginning of a mental breakdown of some kind."

"But it changed something, didn't it?" Sam shrugged. "You got all distant and stuff and you don't even want to talk about it."

"And still _you_ are the one who's trying to change the subject right now." Kurt answered, slightly irritated. He let out a little sigh; his expression went calm and worried again - and he continued. "We _both_ have some issues here and at least I'm trying right now to address yours." He took few steps closer towards Sam. "You can try to hide behind your smiles and work and hugs and rainbows, but I love you and I know you and you can't fool me. Even if everything was planned, the future came faster than we expected it to come and it's normal to have some second thoughts."

"Fine." Sam nodded slightly. "Do you have any second thoughts?"

"Honestly, yes, Sam, I feel deeply concerned by this whole New York thing. Because, look at us – I am going to college, you are going to work – work terribly hard and not do much besides that, just like now – doesn't it seem kind of wrong to you? We are so much _more _than that. I could have had my big Broadway dream, just like Rachel…"

"You _can_ have your big Broadway dream, Kurt" Sam interrupted him. "You can learn and try to make it come true at the same time. I _want _you to try."

"Yes, and that's another moment where you want _me_ to try. When you want _me_ to make _my_ dreams come true. And once again _you_ are ready to work hard to support _me_." Kurt looked right into Sam's eyes. The blond didn't look away but let his long shaggy bangs fall down into his eyes to cover them from Kurt's sight. "What about _you_? Your talents? Your drawings are wonderful, Sam. Your imagination is just impressive. Your imagination is impressive. Your love for astronomy. You're so good with kids. You could have _so many_ options. What about _your_ dreams?"

"My dreams?" Sam repeated, like he didn't fully understand. Those words sounded somehow incredibly weird and they felt like a blurry memory from some other life. Sam's dreams died the day his family moved into a motel room. They had to disappear to make place for hopes to get though another day and all the worries about his family, especially Stevie and Stacey. "My dreams aren't like your dreams, Kurt." he said finally. "It's like the difference between the morals from movies they play on Disney Chanel and _The Social Network_; only one of them is the real deal. And between us two, you're the one who can really achieve something, Kurt, and I'm going to support you with all my heart."

Kurt put his arms around himself, not sure why all this love hurt so much.

"I don't understand why you don't believe in yourself." he said quietly. "If you believed in yourself half as much as I believe in you, or half as much as you believe in me, you would at least consider giving yourself a chance."

Sam didn't answer.

"We can't be happy if all of your happiness is going to revolve around my happiness." Kurt took their things from the table, like every evening before they went to sleep. "Also that wouldn't make me happy at all." he added.

They had sex that night and it was different from what they were used to. Sam fucked Kurt, even if usually he liked to be fucked more; when Sam happened to be on top he almost always showered Kurt with love and affection. This time, he was being very sultry and kind of rough. Kurt reminded himself of the one time when they had sex like this, and it had something to do with jealousy over random flirting or Kurt's first boyfriend showing up, he wasn't sure.

Sam was hurt and the pleasure of that night couldn't mask it. Neither could sweet kisses they left on each other's skin afterwards or the honest embrace before they fell asleep.

"Sam?" Kurt whispered into his hair, unsure if his husband was still awake. "I'm not so sure if we are going to be fine."


	5. Chapter 4

"Does it have to be Friday?" Sam asks quietly as Kurt plays with his hair. They got all long and shaggy again, Kurt can see Sam's dark roots and thinks it's the time for his beloved one to have a haircut. He only isn't sure if he should suggest Sam to bleach his hair again or not. But knowing Sam, he probably wouldn't want to spend money on hair dye right now…

"You know it's a tradition in my family," Kurt answers, whispering, even if there's no reason to. "You even took a part in it once or twice, didn't you? Famous Hummel-Hudson Friday dinners. I think that's one of the reasons why they picked that day: Dad probably wanted to bring back this feel like everything was normal again."

"But I have work…" Sam sighs, nuzzling into his husband's chest. "On Friday, on Saturday, I'm going to look like shit that evening and probably feel like shit the next day, too."

"Well, nobody there loves you because you're pretty," Kurt lets out a little smirk. "At least not only because of that." He kissed softly the top of Sam's head. His hair smells like a cheap shampoo they both use now and Kurt would rather not to think how much his look is going to change in next few weeks. First giving up on moisturizing routine, then poor hair care… "And about feeling tired… You know, you could have a day off. You take a lot of hours voluntary anyway. I'm pretty sure your boss loves you and he wouldn't have any problems with you having a free weekend."

"No" Sam answers right away, not even opening his eyes. "I won't take a day off."

"Too bad. And what if I asked you really nicely?" Kurt asks playfully. "Or tried to bribe you somehow?"

Sam opens his eyes finally and looks at Kurt with a smile – it's an honest, pure smile, with his eyes wrinkled slightly, the one Kurt haven't seen in a while; suddenly everything feels a little better and it seems like they connected in some way, even through all these walls they put around each other last few days.

"The answer is still no" he says and Kurt leaves a delicate kiss on his lips. "But I find nice that all you want lately is for me to work less."

"Does it really surprise you? Damn, your girlfriends had to be really awful to you." Sam's smile fades away; he's not upset, he simply doesn't like when the topic of his past relationships is brought again – he finds his dating history a little embarrassing.

"Your boyfriend was an asshole, too." He stings back.

Kurt feels similar about his own past, so he ignored his answer. "I at least try to respect your private boundaries. If you were worrying about me working too much, you would already steal me away from my job or something. Radical methods. And before that you would be repeating to me from day one how I should quit it."

"It's something different," Sam said.

"It's not." Kurt continued playing with his hair. "Or at least it shouldn't be… And you know what?" he stops. "It won't be. I'm not letting that happen, I love you too much. Someone here has to take care of you."

For few moments they lay down in complete silence. Before Sam spoke, Kurt was pretty sure he has been already asleep.

"Are we going to talk?" His voice was quiet, unsure, but at the same time relaxed and a little sleepy, and that mix made Kurt fall in love all over again. In terms of that, the contrast between what he and Sam had and Kurt's previous relationship has been enormous: being with Blaine was simple and calm; being with Sam was like never ending butterflies in the stomach. Exciting; pleasurable; even if sometimes makes you sick.

"Yes" Kurt answered sweetly, like he promised lullabies, not serious conversation. "Do you want to start with my issues or your issues?"

"I don't know. Both seem pretty complicated." He yawned. "And I'm pretty sure they meet at some point."

"Let's start with small things" Kurt suggested. "Take a day off, Sam. You are exhausted and you can't go on like this. If you continue to work more than you are psychically and mentally able to, the quality will go down. Not only in work, but also at home, and we'll start to annoy the fuck out of each other… Even more." he kissed Sam's forehead. "Sounds reasonable?"

"Completely" Sam sat down, suddenly very awake. "My turn."

"Should I be scared?" Kurt followed him.

"You need to stop avoiding talking how you feel about your dad throwing you out. You can't suffer in silence and ignore the topic," Sam spoke firmly, quickly. He took Kurt's hands, exactly like the day they got married. "Everything will be fine between you two, baby. You make the coolest and strongest family I've ever seen. And I'm not going to ruin it."

"You are supposed to be a part of it," Kurt reminded him. "Not just stand nearby and hope not to crash anything."

"Baby steps," Sam answered. "Before I get closer I need to make sure your dad won't shoot me."

Kurt let out a little smirk. The other boy kissed him sweetly. At least that was his intention, because it quickly turned into make-out session.

"We were supposed to be talking."

"Fuck that. Or something else ." Sam grinned, laying Kurt down again, kissing him deeply. Thinking straight under conditions like this, especially with Sam's hands running through all Kurt's body, wasn't easy.

"Oh God" he moaned as soon as their lips separated. It happened to be the same moment Sam squeezed his ass gently. "It seems like we aren't continuing this conversation now."

"Yep" Sam nodded slipping down Kurt's pyjama pants. He left a small peck on Kurt's lips.

"We were doing so well."

"Baby steps" Sam summed up before disappearing under the blanket.

Dinner wasn't as groundbreaking as everyone expected it to be. There was no serious discussion or emotional hugs. They ate. They talked. They joked. Burt and Carole were interested how Kurt and Sam were doing on their own. Kurt's father seemed to appreciate their hard work and independence. The topic of Kurt leaving wasn't touched on directly, and neither was the topic of marriage, even if Kurt and Sam referred to each other as "husbands" from time to time. Everyone focused more on the fact Kurt got into his dream college and Finn's planned move.

Younger Hummel-Hudson generation was supposed to start their life in New York and it caused a lot of feelings: happiness, anxiety, excitement, nostalgia, and, most of all, hope.

Kurt kept his controversial thoughts to himself that night – even Sam didn't hear about them so far, and presenting them to his father, after his reaction to this whole eloping, didn't seem like the most pleasurable thing on earth.

Even if nothing monumental happened, everyone felt a little better after this evening. Few hugs were shared, some food was left for Kurt and Sam to take home and Burt managed to talk a little to his son; they both came to the terms that even if he considered marriage as stupid idea, he still wished them the best.

"I still think you may regret it, call off the whole thing," he said before they said their goodbyes. "And you probably will. But… It seems like you two really treat this relationship seriously."

"Of course we do," Kurt assured him. "You should already start writing your speech for our real wedding; please add how you didn't believe in us and we made it anyway." he hugged his father.

"I really hope you're right, Kurt." Burt answered. "And Sam." He took a long look at the blond. "You always seemed like a good, honorable guy. Take good care of my son."

"I swear: best possible, sir." He smiled. "Or maybe… dad?" He suggested shyly.

"Not yet."

Just when Sam closed the door, Kurt suddenly appeared in front of him, even if Sam could have swore he just was on the other side of the room. Kurt put some white envelope right in front of his eyes.

"What is it?" He asked, pulling it away a little so he could read the address on the letter. He was surprised to see his name on it. "This is kinda weird, the first thing that you're the one to get letters, the other, that Mrs. Beckett didn't mind getting anything ours with the mail…"

"Just read it," Kurt clapped few times in enthusiasm. Sam smiled and kissed him softly. "I said open the letter, not kiss me." He smiled back. "We'll have some time for kissing later, I'm sure of it."

Sam noticed the letter was already unsealed, even if Kurt made his best effort to make it look otherwise: the paper wasn't torn anywhere and the whole thing looked really neat. He took a paper of the envelope way less carefully.

"Dear Mr. Evans… Blah blah… We are happy to announce…" Sam stopped and read in silence. When he got far enough to understand what the whole thing is about, he stopped and looked at Kurt. "What the fuck is it?"

"Language, dear." Kurt raised his eyebrow softly.

"Letter… From art school?" Sam's mouth felt dry; a lot of questions went through his head. "Did you send my portfolio to art academy? How did you even get enough material for portfolio? Oh God." Sam felt sudden need to sit down.

"You are missing very important part here" Kurt said, handing him the chair, like he read his mind. "You're in. They want you. They appreciated your talent."

"Whatever you found, these for sure weren't my best." Sam took a few breaths and continued reading.

"You can even get a scholarship," Kurt sat down next to him, not waiting until Sam gets through the whole thing; he wanted to point it out already, since he knew it would take a while for Sam to acquire the information.

"I'm not really in," Sam said, continuing to read, even if his dyslexia started to mix with all stress and words started to seem unfriendly. "I would have to take an exam."

"It's in September, so we'll be in New York already. And you are_ practically_ in. This drawing exam is probably just checking if it's for sure yours, and, as you said, these weren't even your best." Kurt kissed his forehead softly. "Everything will be fine, you'll see."

"Kurt, this is ridiculous." Sam put the sheet of paper away. "The idea, this situation, everything." He stopped for a while and then realized something. "How long have you even been planning it? You had to send it like weeks ago, and it means you were lying to me the whole time we were married. You should have told me before you did anything."

"I don't think so" Kurt pursed his lips into thin line for a second. "Reaction would be identical with what we have now and you would probably throw away your drawings or something." Boy fixed his clothing nervously. "Besides that, it wasn't that long ago. The whole process took a very little time. Their quick answer is another prove that you matter."

"I won't go to art school." Sam said, irritated. "I was barely able to read the letter from them."

"Well, from what I understand, art school isn't about reading letters," Kurt stood up. "Also I don't really get why you're so opposed to this idea."

"Because we need money, Kurt" Sam's voice went up a little bit. "Dreams won't feed us."

"Oh God, don't you think I know that? I'm not twelve, Sam." Something broke inside Kurt. He started to talk a little louder, faster, and after a while he added gesticulation. "We can study during weekdays and work on weekends and after class, no big deal. Please loosen up a little bit finally." He took a break for a deep breath, staring right into Sam's eyes. "You have a huge – really BIG – chance in front of you. Because you're talented. Because you're good and finally someone besides me sees it. And you want to throw it away only because or your irrational doubts about our financial situation. We are not some kind of Lima losers, neither one of us." He stopped for a moment, and then started with new passion: "We are more than that. I make clothes, I can sing, I'm probably going to be a journalist. You have opportunity to be an artist and you can do a lot of other things besides that, you already work really hard. We. Are. Going. To. Be. Fine."

"You. Are. Being. Delusional." Sam answered. "Even if I'm more than Lima loser, do you really think it's possible for us to actually achieve something in this fields? Music, fashion, art, really, Kurt? There's a lot of people – every year – who are getting their asses kicked just because they thought they were special and they weren't. I'm trying to be _rational_." He shrugged, annoyed. "To avoid crying afterwards. "

"You're being _a coward_." Kurt accented the last word. "It's not like we're actually losing anything; it's just a stupid letter from school, Sam, from school who invited you in for an exam, and you don't have enough guts to take a chance."

Sam didn't answer in any way. He bit his bottom lip softly and nodded to himself like he was thinking 'I see how it is'.

"I'm sorry." Kurt popped, suddenly feeling stupid. Maybe those weren't right words. Damn, they for sure weren't right words. He always repeated how one of Sam's greatest features was his bravery. "I… I just really want you to believe in yourself." He said softy. "Because I believe in you with all my heart."

Sam laughed bitterly; Kurt didn't like that sound at all.

"How can I love you and support you if you don't love and support yourself?" He asked quietly, wrapping his arms around himself, trying to make a point, but Sam's answer made him sure that he again used the worst possible words to express his feelings.

"Maybe you can't." Sam hid face in his hands; not like he was sad or upset, more like he was tired. "I'm sorry, Kurt, but I think I need go out right now." He stood up. "And be alone."

Kurt nodded, staring into some random point at the wall behind him. "Just… come back to me before I start to worry."

The only answer was the door closing.

Kurt stood in silence for a while.

"We are not going to be fine" he whispered to himself.


	6. Chapter 5

"So, how are my two favorite boys doing?" Rachel smiled sweetly before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Wonderful. Perfect. Amazing," Kurt answered. "No, not really. Actually, we're doing terrible," he let out a little sigh. "By the way, shouldn't Finn be at least one of your two favorite boys?" He raised an eyebrow.

"What's going on?" She asked, concerned. She had no idea anything was wrong; no one did. Kurt and Sam seemed like a perfect couple at first sight. They kept throwing dirt at each other for the bedroom. "Do you have any problems?"

Kurt just finished work and he managed to find a moment to grab a coffee with Rachel before coming back to his duties - he had planned laundry and sending some of the sold stuff today. They really wanted to meet, just two of them, before she leaves Lima again. She wanted to be back in NYC few weeks before Finn's move – she kept repeating that she needed to prepare her place. Whatever that meant.

"It's just this same old stuff, I guess." Kurt took a sip of his coffee. It was probably first decent drink he had since he started to live in Mrs. Beckett's basement. "Sam's insecurity, our inability to communicate, my hair." He ran his fingers through it for better effect. "Just the pressure is bigger, because now, when he have problems, we don't sing about it in Glee club. We actually have to deal with them."

"Well, you could try singing anyway" Rachel suggested with slight smile. "At least it would be some practice for you… Also I think your hair still looks cute." She bumped his shoulder softly. "You look a little more mature."

Kurt smiled back. "I just wish Sam would loosen up a bit and stopped worrying about money for a while. Took a look at his possibilities." His face went serious again. "I truly believe in him."

"How much?" She asked.

Kurt gave her questioning and a little disappointed look. "Are you serious right now?"

"Completely" she nodded. "Listen, what I mean is…" she laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder in comforting way and squeezed it gently. "If you really believe that much in him, maybe you should get really radical. So he believes it, too. That he's worth it." Rachel blushed and covered her face with a cup again; a few years ago she didn't notice Sam's wroth herself, which made situation between both couples a little tense. Even if Sam was always first to forgive everyone who offended him in any way.

"I send his portfolio to art school and it didn't change anything." Kurt said. "He was as unsure of himself as always, even if they wrote really nice letter."

"Well, you didn't really risk or sacrifice anything by doing this" she noticed. "Maybe stamps, but that's it."

"Well, that's true," Kurt admitted and went silent for few seconds. He was looking at the ground, wondering if he should share his idea with Rachel – she was probably the only one to understand anyway, but on the other hand he didn't want her to let the word spread. Finn definitely shouldn't know… yet. "Actually I thought for a while that maybe I could…"

"You could what?"

Kurt took a deep breath and let the words out. "Resign from journalism and drop school."

"Ow." She responded and added after a while, "Well, that sounds really serious."

"It would be a big save of money and time actually." Kurt tried to explain himself; he spoke quickly while his hands were playing with the cup, almost unconsciously. "I would try to make it as a fashion designer. I already sold some of my old stuff, you know, the clothes I made, online and the feedback was really good, so…" Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but he continued. "Also I could try to make it on Broadway. Follow my dreams, like we always wanted when we were freshmen – you did that ." Kurt smiled softly to himself at the next thought and went on. "And then Sam would go to art school and he would follow his dreams, too. Finally. So it seems like a profit on every side. Maybe expect for the fact…"

"That it doesn't go so smoothly in practice." She finished. Rachel knew – even if all last year she tried to make it on Broadway and hoped to work on daily basis as a singing teacher, most of the time she was just a waitress.

"And my dad and Sam would probably kill me." Kurt added, spinning the coffee cup in his hands. He looked at Rachel again and his lips moved in this kinda sad, kinda hopeful smile."You can't deny that's risky."

Rachel smiled softly and laid her hand on Kurt's knee.

"Isn't that a point of taking big chances and opportunities? What really makes them big?" She asked. "Risk?"

Boy didn't answer, so she kept going.

"I don't want to sound like I knew everything about your relationship, Kurt, because of course I don't. But I guess that as long as you two will be there to support each other, everything will be fine. There are people who care about both of you and what you have. You're not alone. And I promise you all mine and Finn's support when you move to New York." Her smile widened. "We're family."

Kurt took her hand off his knee and squeezed it.

"I guess that's what marriages were invented for," Kurt said randomly some afternoon, when each of them was just minding his own business. Kurt was lying down on their mattress, reading some biography he borrowed from library; Sam was sitting by the table, scribbling in his notebook. Kurt took it as a good sign; drawing might mean he had thought about art school again.

"When two people argue while they are just a couple, they simply have to do something about it." He continued. "Talk. Stop meeting each other. Yell at each other for an hour and then have passionate hate sex. For another hour." At this point Sam looked up at him, raising his eyebrows softly. "And when you're married? You just go back to your daily habits and everything just passes like nothing happened."

"You have a point." Sam answered simply, unprovoked, and came back to his drawings. "On the other hand, you can always finish a marriage, too. It's a little more complicated than just saying "it's not you, it's me…" he stressed the phrase Kurt used himself few years ago, the week they met, and then continued, "…we should be friends", but still…" He looked at Kurt again, who was clearly unamused. "Theoretically speaking, of course."

"Yeah" Kurt closed his book. "On side note, breaking up after like a month of secret forbidden marriage would be really ironic."

Sam smiled. "Imagine your dad's reaction; he just started accepting the whole thing after repeating how this marriage is going to fall apart and how we're going to regret it."

"I don't think he would find that funny. Maybe would be a little devastated; isn't that what happens to people when love stories they trusted in fall apart?" Kurt got up from the mattress and sat by the table across Sam. The boy leaned in and left a soft kiss on Kurt's lips.

"But that's definitely not what's happening to us" he assured him. "I'm not giving up on you so easily."

"I'm definitely not giving up on you, too" Kurt answered and kissed Sam again. "I love you… And I love you enough to take a risk."

"Risk?" Sam raised his eyebrows. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, nothing." Kurt took Sam's hand – left one, with wedding ring on it – and hid it in his own hands. "Nothing really big, anyway." He added, interlacing their fingers. "But you'll see."

"I don't like the idea of you plotting something behind my back again." Sam said. He got a little tense and Kurt felt like he wanted to take his hand away.

"I'm not, love." Kurt's voice was calm and Sam wasn't sure if it made things better or worse. Maybe he was getting a little paranoid lately, worrying if Kurt wasn't starting to take advantage of him in some way. Or maybe he actually always knew that Kurt had small tendencies to do that, but it never really showed in bothering way before they were married. "Trust me, it has nothing to do with you."

"Everything that involves you has something to do with me. That's the point of being together." Sam sighed. "Can't you just tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Soon, dear." Kurt squeezed his husband's hand even tighter. "I swear it's nothing like signing you up to any school against your will." He smiled softly, still petting his hand, hoping for Sam to smile back. "Maybe we're going to be fine after all."


End file.
